i think you’re pretty
This week Olivia has been hanging out at Misty’s parents house because I’ve been so focused on getting things together for the service. Today was really the first time I got to be with just her.
We visited my parents, who still had some family around, and afterwards found ourselves at the brand-spanking-new mcdonalds playplace. This was pretty cool. They have touch screen video games on the tables and a huge 3 level area with a big slide. Olivia and I explored the different paths for the first time and of course made our way to the top for the slide. I let her go down by herself (she is convinced that 21 months is big enough to do anything on her own), but I was a foot behind her the whole way using my sneakers up against the wall so I didn’t run her over. In her usual fashion, every time we hit the bottom she’d throw herself out of the tube saying “Again?!”. I obliged for a good 30 minutes before fighting the torrential downpour to just get into our car and head home.
I often reach into the backseat and hold her hand (or even her foot) when I am driving (i’m pretty ok with one hand, in spite of what they taught me in drivers ed). As we headed home from the playplace and I held her little hand, we had a conversation…here it is, word for word:
“Liv, I think you are pretty”
“Yeah…Mommy thinks I’m pretty”
“Yes, she does…but it’s just you and me now kid”
“Yeah”
“I love you”
“Yeah”
She doesn’t fully grasp what she was saying “Yeah” to, but at some level she is getting it. She is starting to understand. I wish she didn’t have to.
Today was also the first time I had a chance to think about the feelings and questions that I have been having. That discussion is coming soon, but I just wanted to say that my family is doing well. We have lots a questions for God…but we still choose to serve him.
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Darren…your website has become an important part of my life over the past few months. You challenge me to think and stretch and grow. I look forward to each day with you and Olivia and your thoughts. Always praying for you both…
Darren,
Good Morning! First place I go every morning to see what inspirational thing is to come next from you! you are too awesome for words……
Olivia is so blessed to have you as her Daddy! Keep up the good work, God has many plans for you both.
I love you both,
God Bless Pam and Family
I too come to your website first thing in the morning.
You life is a true inspiration to me and to so many. Be encouraged by how many lives you have touched and are continuing to touch.
I look forward to reading future posts.
The first thing every morning when I get to work is log on and come to this site. Darren you really do encorage so many by sharing you life with us. Thank you. You, Olivia and the rest of your family are in my toughts and prayers.
Good morning Darren,
Thank you so much for Saturday. What a blessing to celebrate Misty’s life with you and her family. Thank you for allowing all of us to be a part of your’s and Misty’s love story – the story of your love for each other and your love for God.
Through your website and at Saturday’s service you allowed so many people to become a part of your lives. Your daily words have inspired us, challenged and stretched us in many ways. I am so thankful that you plan to continue your daily writings – they have become so much a part of my mornings.
I will continue to keep you, Olivia, and Misty’s family in my prayers. God’s love is amazing and far-reaching and I pray that His love will surround you and uphold you.
Darren,
You rock.
I will keep reading and keep growing in my faith so keep challenging us, all of us who read. keep showing us how you are an amazing father. God loves you and so do I.
Love you man,
Tim
Darren,
You are doing a great job! You and your family are in my prayers daily.
My eyes are full of tears. You are such an amazing Dad.
Maybe it is because I grew up without my Dad. I don’t know, but the image of you reaching back to hold her little hand just melts my heart.
And your little conversation with her…as a Mother is just so precious. I too wish she did not have to understand. I am praying that Jesus helps her to in only a way that He could.
I continue to pray. Keep that baby girl close to you, she needs you so much right now. You are doing a wonderful job…Praying here in NY for a peaceful week of rest and reflection for you. Hold fast to the Lord.
Your site is such an inspirational way to start my day. I have never commented, but you and your family are often on my mind, and in my conversations. My faith and my walk have been strengthened by yours. My love and relationships with my children have been touched by your story of life and love with Misty and Olivia. Thank you for being so brave, honest and faith-filled. You are a light, shining so brightly, it makes me wast to do the same.
Continue to be strong. Your love and relationship with your baby girl fills me up. I am sending love and prayers, and will continue to do so.
Lauren
I am SO SO SO thankful you still serve Him and know God loves you and your family!!! I have never met you but I KNOW with ever fiber in me that you are an amazing christian man who will love your daughter to heaven and meet ever need she has plus some. You will have your scream at God days but He can handle it. When God created us he knew how many hairs he would give us on our head and he knew how many days on this earth we would have…. why Misty had a short life, we dont know…but I do know YOU were an amazing husband and you ARE an amazing father who will more than take outstanding care of your precious daughter. I look forward to each entry you write and continue to pray for an amazing Godly man whom I have never met but feel I know.
its really weird but i find myself checking your website the first thing in the mornings as well (while my grandson is eating his breakfast)–your writings are so encouraging and i look forward to keeping up my mornings traditions in reading them. i pray that your faith will remain strong in the hard days to come!!
You & your family are in our prayers. We are so sorry for your loss,and our hearts ache for you & yours. Your blog has been an amazing blessing in the lives of so many readers. Thank you for sharing your story with us, as it one of faith, hope & Love. Witnessing God’s presence in your words, your stories & your life is very encouraging. We will continue to pray for you always.
Good morning Darren,
I pray you meet today with grace, as usual. Tears fill my eyes as I write… Thank you for asking to meet ( or re-meet) my dear Heather. She now cuts many of my girlfriends hair at church and we all love and adore her. She couldn’t stay away and just had to come Saturday. We had worked a wedding together, then headed to you… I think Jesus is loving on her in a special way if you know what I mean! Heather, if your reading, you know He truly loves you! Anyway, I just want to say again that we are here. Please join us for lots of dinners. I will make you all the mexican dishes you want! Just tell me when your ready. Take all the time you need. But please, let us be apart of you and Olivia’s life as you heal. Tony so loves you.
Thank you for keeping me in step. I’ve learned so much from you already. The two of you are so beautiful. I pray you have a blessed day!!
I’ve just recently started reading. Darren, you are truly an amazing person. I’m so sorry for everything your family has had to go through. It’s inspirational that with all of this you still maintain your Faith. Bless you.
Darren,
I think it was wonderful how you and Olivia are bonding together, and how you are starting a new chapter in your life. I wish that new chapter was with Misty, and it brings me to tears to think of that. Little Olivia is such a sweet and precious little girl. We all know you will keep Misty alive in her life. As she grows older..more and more she will understand where Misty is. You both will have such a wonderful bond and nothing will break that. I am so happy to hear how you and the family are doing well. It is so hard…but I know God will continue to be there for you and Olivia.
I still can’t believe that Misty is gone…but what makes us all cope better~ she is with our Lord and waiting for your arrival. We love you Darren and continue to pray for you, Olivia and your family.
Hi Darren,
I have never commented, but have been lurking. I have followed your page ever since my mom and sister told me about it. They said the memorial service was amazing. I and my family, have been ever praying for you and Olivia and rejoice through tears that misty has been healed and is with our king in eternal peace. Your website has been such a comfort to me as i have read over the past months and i have shared your journey with a friend and coworker who is living with stage IV GBM. almost 2 years since doctors told her she had 6 months to live and she is another testimony to God’s work and reason for allowing people to live with this disease, to reach multitudes of people who need to know of his sovereign grace who may never otherwise be touched by his love. thank you so much for continuing to post through what is difficult. Thank you for being faithful.
http://www.carepages.org page Joycewillwin
In the lamb,
Kelli
Darren, I too hold my Emma’s foot like that while driving. When she was a newborn, I would put my finger in her mouth in leiu of a pacifier to soothe her on short drives. Scary looking back. Haha. Just wanted to say hello and to say that you are in our hearts and prayers as you have been for so long.
We are so honored to have been at Misty’s service. I have got to say that every one of us that has been apart of the website and apart of your journey, and one of the most blessed memorial services of my life will most likely never be the same.
It is gonna produce ongoing FAITH in so many lives, not quite like we had prayed for, but the ongoing work that you are doing is going to make this all a awsome GOD thing for sure.
Thank you, Darren and family for the FAITH!!
It’s become a habit of mine to check your blog several times a day just to make sure everything is okay. Olivia is so blessed to have you in her life. I believe it is great the way you two are bonding. You and Olivia are still in my prayers!
Dear Darren,
My heart breaks for all of you. But for you and Olivia I can’t imagine. I am so glad to hear that you are all serving even with all those questions. There is a book I think I told you about called the Shack. When Jonathan’s accident happened I knew at that minute God was in control. Yes it was unfair and had no sense to happen but God knew. Well I tried not to question but our pain and brain need a reason. When its time, read The Shack it will help with some of those questions.. I understood not only my pain but Gods pain in my loss. We are all keeping you in prayer.
Love, Nadine
Thank you for being such a blessing. I’m still praying for you, Olivia, and the rest of your family. I can’t imagine the sorrow you must all feel, but I know that you are truly blessed for having such an amazing woman in your lives for as long as you did. God is still doing awesome things through all of this, and I will continue to pray you trough. Thanks again for letting God use you so incredibly even through this dark time. May He continue to bless you abundantly. Know that you are loved.
Kathy
Darren and Olivia….
Blessed are those who believe and have not yet seen.
Often times I am reminded of this. Sometimes questioning my own individual walk in faith. Trying to maintain my sane self in an insane world. When I pause long enough to reflect and really REALLY search, GOD has this amazing way of revealing a bit more of Him and all the things He’s created.
While we will never understand why the good LORD calls home one of His own, knowing obviously how much that loved one is needed and wanted here, I’ll never quite understand. But ya know….perhaps we never will, at least while we are here on the earth. But one thing I know is certain, tho, is that the GOD who created the world, the universe is the same GOD who created each of us to be very unique, in a very special way.
Misty’s time here was brief…too brief if you ask me. Yet during her time here, she has impacted so many lives in so many ways. Ways that I can only comprehend in such limited capacity. One thing is certain, GOD authored her love story to impact us all. A love story that goes far beyond her love and devotion to you and your daughter. A love story that reached out to each and every single one of us individually. A love that is far greater then, we, can ever imagine.
I still am in awe that I find myself loving a family whom I’ve never met, yet have grown very fond of over these last few months. Love so unconditional and unyielding. Being so motivated by love and compassion that helped me in my own walk to become more proactive in my daily prayer life, then ever before.
So, while I’m still trying to rationalize GOD calling Misty to come home, I take heart in knowing that as we don’t always understand, GOD’S ways are far greater then our ways and even our own limited understandings.
I have been given such a beautiful gift by Misty. And I for one, can not wait til the day when I can go to her and say thank you for allowing our LORD to use you to impact my life and my families in such a amazing way.
One thing is certain, for sure. Love, indeed is the greatest gift of all!
We have just grown to love all of you. Our hearts and prayers continue to be with you.
I am so, so, sorry that you have to say these impossible things to your precious daughter.
You have not left our prayers for a moment.
Darlene and family
Your post reminds me so much of Psalm 103:13
“Just as a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.”
The deep love you’re showing for Olivia mirrors the unfathomable love God has for you…especially at this very difficult part of your journey together. Olivia is truly blessed to have a Dad like you, and a Mom who loved and trusted Him so very much.
Darren,
I wanted to thank you and your entire family for your faith in our Lord. I attended the service and was so incredibly touched by the beauty of it all and again the incredible testimonies of faith from your family, Misty’s friends, you and of course Misty herself. Thank you so much, Darren, for allowing me to be part of your unwavering walk of faith. I pray that through the pain that you can find joy in the fact that Misty’s life has touched this follower’s life in a profound way. Your love and faith in God has increased my love and faith in God, yet; I never even met your Misty. Thank you again for not only passing the baton of faith to Olivia but to me also.
I am forever and eternally grateful,
Claudia
I pray that you would continue to be the strong man of faith that your daughter needs right now and forever. Keep her close to you, and continue to be a wonderful, God-fearing example to her.
With a heavy heart and always praying,
Beth
Darren,
Thank you for renewing my Faith….I was away from the computer all last week and found myself praying for all of you! I was saddened to hear about Misti this morning when I logged on. God has great plans for you and Olivia!! Here’s a quote I hold on to and hope it helps…
“Friends….are quiet Angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly”.
God Bless!
Jennifer
Olivia is beautiful and so is your faith. I’m so glad you are continuing to serve. Your family inspires so many.
Praying that you cling to God’s truth. That you are comforted by the Spirit. That you feel the hope.
Love you.
Cris
Wow … your strength just blows me away. You are such an amazing person and father to Olivia … and I just want you to know that she is so blessed to have you! I think and pray for you often …
I love this story..she couldn’t be blessed with a better father & example..
Darren,
I just thought I would let you know! I love it when you post things that Olivia says! She is the most adorable little girl! She is so blessed to have you as a father too! I’m looking foward to what you have in store for the future! Your words are always an encouragement to me! Thank you so muh for sharing your stories with all of us! May God continue to Bless you and your amazing little girl! I hope that we are able to get together somtime in the future to just chill and so I an get to play with little Olivia! :)
Muh Love to the two of you!
Kathi
Saturday was beautiful. I meant what I said, I love and miss you guys
Love
Mark
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You may not know just how much this website affects our everyday lives. I am blessed to be apart of your “web family!” I look forward to you posting from Misty’s memorized scripture verses. I too will be memorizing them as you post. You are continuously in our prayers. Please kiss Olivia for me. She is beautiful!!! God Bless
I hold Jadens hand a lot when I’m driving too. You’re going to be a great dad to Miss Olivia. She’s REALLY lucky to have a father like you!
Dear Darren,
What treasured moments you will have with Miss Olivia. I am just so very thankful that she has you. God has given her a daddy filled with love. That extravagent love you preached on. Darren just know that that very love comes from the heart of God, and God is loving you just the same. He will take you through each day. Praying for you.
With much love,
Lavenia
Well since I’ve been “outed” as a closet reader thanks Yvonne!
Misty’s service was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing her and sharing details of your lives with us.
Ephesians 3:16-21 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
You are in my prayers!
My dearest Darren and Olivia
So understand where you’re at. When Gena was away for a year both Lexie and Sky couldn’t really grasp where Mom was. Especially Lexie as she was around Olivia’s age at the time. We were lucky they were able to have their Mom back. It does seem to get better over time, if you ever need an ear I’m always here. I have told so many people how moving the service was, how uplifting. As strong as I think I am don’t think I could have spoke like you and Misty’s Mom did. The faith you have in your family is such an inspiration to so many. I lost it when we pulled up and saw that huge parking lot filled.I felt like this was a service for a politician or a dignitary.
How impressive that just about every seat was filled in such a large church, absolutely awesome. Days to come will be hard, but with the support of family and friends and of course the lord you’ll get through it.
We’re here if you need your haircut, babysitter, or just an ear from someone who understands a little. We
love you all so and wish this had not been the outcome
but it is certainly easier when you have such incredible faith.
Darren if you ever decide to leave your job you should be a writer. You are so gifted. So many people have to face the challenges you have had to face and I really think you should write a book. It would be so helpful to so many. Well enough for now, you remain in our
prayers as always
Love Sue
choosing faith that is not seen is the best choice.
still praying for your family.
Your faith is an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your Misty with all of us. She will forever live in the hearts of her loved ones.