Darren LeBlanc

I’m on blackberry, so it will be short and probably full of spelling mistakes….but whatever.

Today, started pretty rough (stay tuned, the story gets better). Misty is still in a coma and her heart rate was alarmingly high – up to 174! We also, found a 103 degree fever shortly after that. A bit later an ultrasound of her legs revealed a deep vein thrombosis (clotting) on the back of her right knee. Unfortunately, with everything going on in her head we can’t give any blood thinners to get rid of the clot. The only action is to insert a filter so that when this clot dislodges from the wall, it doesn’t get to the heart and probably kill her. The day had a series of other dramas as well, like a cooling blanket with a leak flooding mistys bed and a couple friendly reminders of why every patient needs an advocate who stays with them and pays attention to everything.

Ok, on to the good stuff. First I need to say that I was so encouraged today when I sat down to read the comments. It was like so many of you actually do believe with us that Misty will be healed. It was really nice.

Secondly, the nurse we had during the day was absolutely wonderful. And the funny part was, I realized that she is my mother’s, cousin’s,husband’s, little brothers, wife whom I have never met!! I’m not even making that up! Jennifer was really great – knowledgeable, caring, competent, friendly.

We had the minor surgery to implant the filters and it went well – no problems.

By the end of the day (1am) her heart rate was down under 125 and the fever below 100 degrees!

I have another good story, but it has to wait till another night. We are doing good – keeping praying and Misty will walk out of here soon!

I don’t know that I’m going to be very articulate tonight. It hasn’t been the best day of the year. I didn’t sleep last night and I’m ready to rest for a few minutes. Here is the story (excluding all the parts where I became impatient with medical professionals).

I was up all night with Misty. She was having seizures and literally foaming at the mouth. Unfortunately, after one of the seizures in the night she stopped responding to me. She slipped into a coma last night around 2am. Then at 6:30am she had another seizure…after that, still no response.

Today was rough. Misty didn’t wake up and continued to have more and more difficulty with breathing. It got to the point where we needed to decide whether to put her on a breathing machine (read: life support) or let her gasp for air till she lost her breath. I have discussed this with Misty and she wanted to be sustained in hopes of God bringing a miracle. So that was the decision. I know there are a million of you who think that was wrong…but it was Misty’s choice and there is no way I was going to go against what she’d want. I’m very comfortable with our decision. (no need for comments either way on that). Olivia got to come in and sit with mommy before they did anything.

So they put the tube down her throat and taped it up; effectively taking over her breathing. It was nice that misty’s old nurse Eileen happened to hear the room number and came down to help out. She was able to access Misty’s IV port. Anyway, this procedure landed us in the ICU, where she now is, still unresponsive.

So where does that bring us now?

We are in the exact same place we were months ago. There is no cure for brain cancer. Misty’s only way out alive was a miraculous healing by God. That is still her only way out. I still believe that God is going to heal her. For me, healing her brain cancer is the same thing as healing her brain cancer and bringing her out of a coma.

I’m not a great “pray-er”. My Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) kicks in after about 3.2 minutes and my mind is all over the place. A few years back Misty got me this ADD self test. There were 50 questions and if you answered yes to more than 20 it was recommended that you see a doctor. I got 47. Wait…sorry, lost focus there. Ok, back on track now…

So I have to pray out loud or my mind quickly wanders. When I pray out loud I tend to use scripture that I know. Growing up, my favorite verse was Phil 4:6-7. I really had no idea why…I mean, it was nice, but I couldn’t say that it really had become “real” to me or anything. But nevertheless, I often quoted it as my favorite verse. I have even prayed this verse over many of you that will read this today:

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Well, since this ordeal has really kicked into high gear, I can’t tell you how much I have prayed that. And in the beginning, it just wasn’t working. I’d pray that, but it didn’t seem to be a reality in our lives. We didn’t have peace…even though we tried very hard to. Well, I think there was just a little delay in that peace coming to us…

Today marks the lowest point in Misty’s physical condition. She woke up with a seizure and has not been able to really fully wake up from that. It’s now 2am and the seizure was over 13 hours ago. Misty has woken up only a handful of times and has not yet made eye contact. When she wakes, her eyes are half open and her face without expression. We got her to drink a little bit of juice (which was encouraging) but had trouble getting her to swallow applesauce with crushed pills.  I did get a response from her as I moved toward her face and asked her for a kiss. She pushed her lips out a bit to kiss me. And without fail, every time she wakes up, she grabs my hand if I put it near hers.

So yes, this may represent the lowest point in Misty’s physical condition, but this is far from the darkest hour. In the midst of this hospital room, there is a peace and comfort that I cannot explain or understand. There is a confidence in God and a willingness to endure whatever difficulty comes our way. It seems that God finally came through on that prayer that I prayed so many times…and in good timing too. I am actually glad we had to go through those dark times when her physical condition was so much better. It makes us appreciate and recognize the peace and comfort even more now.

So here is my prediction. Some of the “fog” now is still lingering from effects of the seizure and the medicine…so tomorrow will be markedly better and we will be heading home from the hospital. Then by the end of next week we are going to be singing with Misty as she praises God for her miracle. And, no, I do not have a special gift of prophecy (I’m not saying that at all)…I’m just still believing that God will come through for Misty. Psalm 34:19 says: 

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the LORD delivers him out of them all.

We have nothing left to do other than stand on what the Bible says. So that’s what we are doing. It’s really not such a bad place. By the way, earlier today, someone came into the ER and told us that he knew us and had arranged for us to have a private room. This was such a blessing, especially on what some of the staff described as one of the busiest days in months!

Anyway, it looks like Misty is waking a bit….
I’m gonna hit publish on this and go back to just holding her hand.

We are in the hospital. Bad seizure this morning. Still trusting God, but praying harder.

More later when its not from my blackberry

Misty had an ok day, not great, but ok. We are having a series of difficulties…some are a bit discouraging, but there remains a quiet confidence in our God. There is still peace in our home. We did have a visit from a physical therpist and that went very well. Misty was responsive to her and was showing decent strength in her good arm and leg.

Isaiah 58 says that when you fast properly (read about the lifestyle characterized as proper),

“ 8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
       and your healing will quickly appear;”

I’m starting an extended fast tomorrow. I’m expecting her healing to come…but I am praying that it will “quickly appear”.

Did you ever see that episode of Monk where the city was on a garbage strike and the smell (and filth) made the OCD superstar detective (Adrian Monk) crazy. He began to theorize about incredibly stupid ideas and he convinced himself that the murder they were investigating was committed by a fame rock legend looking for an antique wing-back chair. Then his boss took him into a huge sterile white room and everything just clicked. Adrian solved the murder in minutes.

I don’t know what it is, but every time I get in the shower its like I’m getting in that big sterile room. I get in and my mind starts racing with great ideas, song lyrics, etc. Yesterday I had a great idea for Marketing AoH (oops…forgot to tell the marketing team about that – I’ll email you nicole) and today I took Olivia’s bath crayon and started writing on the wall. This is what came out as I recalled a moment just a few minutes earlier when I was laying with Misty.

I lay beside my lover
on our make-shift living room bed
Her cheek is numb and
slightly cold to my lips
Her eyelids just barely cracked open
even as she sleeps
Her limp arm is draped across her chest
so it doesn’t dangle lifeless from the edge of the mattress
Her lips pressed shut
in a shallow but noticeable frown
Everything that was once solace
has long since faded
What was once comfort
is rendered meaningless

But a new hope emerges
from the solitude of despair
An exploding light
destroying the shadows of death and doubt
An anthem of hope to our weary minds
A smouldering confidence being fanned and kindled

Yes, out of the darkness came
a new assurance that whatever sorrow
our human lives endure before God’s healing is complete
Whatever pain may come
it will somehow bear witness to the Glory of God

Anyway, today was ok. Misty was up and awake more and she did some vocalizations. It’s still tough though. It usually takes 4 or 5 times of asking her a question before you get a response and she does a lot of staring. Taking pills has gotten rough as she is not so good at swallowing. It’s like she forgets about it when stuf is in her mouth. I’m not worried…still confident in God. My prayer is that he brings restoration soon. The Bible says have faith…that’s our part.

IMPORTANT: I was disturbed to hear today that the buzz around some christian groups was “oh, did you hear about the MRI…it was so bad, she’s getting worse” and “I feel so bad for them”. If you need to discuss what is going on for your own therapy, thats fine. Unlike some popular teachers, I don’t believe a lack of faith or negative speaking will have any effect on Misty’s healing. But, I want to encourage you to not feel sorry for her. She is happy and living a life trusting in God right now. She doesn’t need sympathy. She does still need prayers though. God’s hand moves by the faith and the prayers of his people. Water cooler talk about how bad her MRI was does little good. So next time you see that friend tell them how exciting it is that God is waiting just long enough to make this miracle so amazing that the world can’t help but notice.

Just got a note from an old friend and wanted to share it.

Hey Darren,
 
I just wanted to let you, Misty, and Olivia know that we’ve been praying for all three of you consistently each day and are eagerly awaiting God’s miracle.  I’m not sure if you heard this story today, but it’s rare on the news that they would give God the credit for a miraculous healing (see video below).  I cant wait until millions will be touched and inspired by the hand of God through Misty’s healing!  To God be ALL the Glory!!
 
http://gmy.news.yahoo.com/v/9754358
 
-Tom

I haven’t been so good with that unwritten caregiver rule about taking time to yourself…so I went to see switchfoot on saturday. They were playing about 20 minutes from my house, so I just went for their 1hr set. Thanks so much to Erika, Brian and Joe for the free tickets. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it.

It was a good show. I haven’t seen them in years. I knew them personally years ago (before they got huge) so it was nice to get out to a concert. Here is one I took with my point and shoot (didn’t want to drag the real camera).

Since I’m breaking out the pictures, I’ll give you a couple more. The other day I had an nice little bumble bee hanging around my dying basil plant.

Anyway, today was pretty nice. Misty was definitely doing better than yesterday. We even got outside for dinner. She is still pretty foggy in her mind, but definitely an improvement over yesterday.

Just over 2 months ago I asked you all to spread the word about Misty and to focus on prayer. Misty was in rough shape and the doctors didn’t give her much hope. In response to that there was an incredible outpouring of prayer. For 2 months now, Misty has been doing so well. The last few days have been quite a little less smooth.

Despite what many of you may have thought after yesterdays post, I was not lying when I said that I wasn’t worried about how the MRI looked. I’m not. I’m not discouraged; I’m not depressed; I’m not giving up or anywhere near it. I am focused though. Considering Misty’s last couple days, we have doubled her steroids. This is not a lack of trust in God, but simply a wise choice in this human world that live in (steroids helps the swelling and the doctors suggest that were she not on any steroids, she couldn’t live at all – but that of course is only temporary until she is totally healed).

I have all the confidence in the world that God is coming through for Misty. I had hoped we were done with this, but it seems that God needs to continue this trial for a bit longer.  I don’t want to be ambiguous here; God is healing Misty. I do not doubt that. It just seems that we need to rally the troops and storm God with some prayer a bit more before we see that healing actually manifest in her body. Healing is on the way though…today was significant’y better than yesterday and tomorrow will be much better yet.  Please don’t feel sorry for Misty or anything. She is happy and emotionally strong right now. She has full trust in God.

I thank you all so much for your prayers. I wish I could honor each of you for spending time invested in asking God to heal Misty and for spreading the word to other Christians. I am so humbled and so incredibly appreciative. (as I reread this paragraph, I realized that that sentence doesn’t all convey the depth of my gratitude…really, thanks) I am excited though for each of us because I believe we will all have our faith increased when this miracle is completed. Imagine how great it will be for our children to grow up seeing a miracle like this. Seeing Misty singing and telling her story. I’m fully expecting Olivia to have faith so much stronger than the shallow amount that I can muster up.

I’m going to leave you with this Psalm.

Psalm 33

 1 Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
       it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

 2 Praise the LORD with the harp;
       make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

 3 Sing to him a new song;
       play skillfully, and shout for joy.

 4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
       he is faithful in all he does.

 5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
       the earth is full of his unfailing love.

 6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
       their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

 7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
       he puts the deep into storehouses.

 8 Let all the earth fear the LORD;
       let all the people of the world revere him.

 9 For he spoke, and it came to be;
       he commanded, and it stood firm.

 10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
       he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

 11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
       the purposes of his heart through all generations.

 12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
       the people he chose for his inheritance.

 13 From heaven the LORD looks down
       and sees all mankind;

 14 from his dwelling place he watches
       all who live on earth-

 15 he who forms the hearts of all,
       who considers everything they do.

 16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
       no warrior escapes by his great strength.

 17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
       despite all its great strength it cannot save.

 18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
       on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

 19 to deliver them from death
       and keep them alive in famine.

 20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
       he is our help and our shield.

 21 In him our hearts rejoice,
       for we trust in his holy name.

 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
       even as we put our hope in you.

No update today. I’m spending my blog time praying.

And thanks for holding my arms up in prayer. I need it.
Even Moses needed it….I need it even more.

Pray for:

• Healing for Misty
• Wisdom on how to best care for her