minding my own business
I got a comment on yesterdays post that goes like this:
“It would have been great if you would have just walked up and said something to them. What would the loss be? You would have made a difference. It wasn’t a private fight. :) ”
I laughed out loud when I read this because last time I was in AZ, I had two similar instances.
1) While on line to check in for the flight, a US Airways employee started asking a fellow employee what she was doing. Then he proceeded to belittle her and say how she never does anything. They of course exchanged a few words to each other until I got up to them. When I was close enough to not yell I spoke up: “hey guys, you probably don’t really want to fight in front of the customers”. I wasn’t loud (didn’t want to make him feel dumb or get defensive) I just hated that the one guy was totally making the girl feel terrible.
2) While eating lunch at some crab cake place in the airport (can’t remember the name) this lady made a huge scene over the fact that she paid $17 for one little crab cake. She was really being nasty to the nice waitress. She happened to be in the table next to me, so I leaned over and politely told her that the menu clearly stated 4oz next to the premium selection that she ordered. The rant was over.
But as far as the fight in the hotel..I chose to not say anything. No one was being picked on and my comments probably wouldn’t have made anyone think any more clearly about the situation….just tick them off more. Like as a 15 yr old I told a 65yr old man in Dunkin Donuts to “watch his language” – not sure that really sunk in…haha. I’ve never been good at minding my own business…but I am trying. Baby steps :)
PS…no video for Olivia today because of issues with my work computer. Oh well, I’m pretty happy to be heading home tomorrow.
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Hey bro I am the same way I admit I have a problem keeping my month shut when it comes to standing up for those who are weaker .. a quick story my father always told me never get involed in the midst of a couple who is fighting but one day I step in to stop a man from beating on his wife or girl friend and they both turn on me with a gun another time my wife saw a man out side our window cutting his wife with a razor and came for me to go and stop him and my dads words rang load in my ear and I just told her we would call the police on this one .. I will still stand up when I see a person at a store treating another employ or a customer teating a teller as though they are better but in the middle of a couple fighting there i will not go because if you have to put your hand now that you step in they will both be on you like your the enemy .. sorry for going on .. you are daily in my prayers.. God bless you and your little angel .. Tbone out
I now know why I love you so much, Darren! I’m with you. I’ll tell one of mine. After reading Dr. Dobson’s book on How to build self esteem into the child and being convicted by my own words, I heard bad words at every turn. During one visit to the pediatrian, I couldn’t hold my tongue when two moms conversed.
“Cute baby, is she a good baby?” (I always hated that question)…. to which the other mom replied…
“yes, not like him (putting her hand on her other son’s shoulder.. he Never slept. Feeling so bad for the boy I asked him mom
“OH, IS HE DEAF?”
why do you ask, she replied.
because your talking about him as if he wasn’t here or he couldn’t hear. So I thought he might be deaf.
The boy smiled.
I have always hated when parents talk about their kids in their presence. It makes them objects.
Thanks for staying with me here…….
This past summer I caught a young guy at an amusement park take a tag off a t-shirt and hat set just about to walk out without paying for it. I could not keep my mouth closed. It was kind of awkward, but he didn’t end up steal it as far as I could tell. I’m a people watcher so I always notice things like that.
Another point of view…when we overhear a minute conversation in another person’s life, we don’t know the backstory, what brought them here and to this point in time. Perhaps they were caring for a dying parent, ill child, at the end of a broken relationship, etc. I think that IF we respond it needs to be in love and not with criticism because we don’t know what shoes they’re walking in, just as they don’t know the path we have walked.
I am so glad to hear that people still exist that are willing to step in when things just aren’t right, I wish more of us were out there, maybe the world would be a better place.
My short story, stopped into the corner gas station to get some gas, when I went to pay a young boy (maybe 11 or 12) was in front of me about to purchase a pack of cheap cigars. The clerk, well into his 30’s, was more than willing to sell them to him.
Needless to say I had to ask the boy if he was 18, he left immediately. I then proceeded to school the clerk.
Not much drama, a small act, but little things add up.
BTW I love your site, tonight I’ll hold my family a little closer, thank you.
once, while being a PTO parent, we received a lecture by pros who told us that we should never just stand by and watch someone hurt a child. Grownups….. well, that might be a different story. But kids who are screamed at, yelled, beaten ( I have seen this and also stepped in while 300plus people watched… made me sick) well, these kids are the ones who have the potential to go into a public place with a weapon and blow people away. The message they have lived with is …. no one cared. no one rescues, steps in, vindicates. It messes with their sense of justice. A nice way to help in this way is this.. if you see a parent just grab, scream or push a bit out of control you can ask if they need help. This, we were taught, alerts them that people are noticing so they should settle down. But the biggest way you help in that situation is by defending in some small way… the child. If it happens in public, we were taught, it’s right to gently help.
I remember being at Burger King once and this manager just completely belittling her employee over a small offense, and she was doing it in front of everyone. I gave my two cents. I’m not good at minding my business. LOL. However, in a domestic situation, I would not intervene, much like you, unless someone was in harms way. They would just turn on you anyway. LOL
Hey Darren,
Once I was in Shorprite shopping when I came across a man and his wife in the bread isle. The wife was looking for bread and the husband was pushing the cart behind her, so she had no idea what he was doing. In front of him was this lovely bodacious (is that how you spell it?) woman in a short skirt with very long legs. Well, this guy just started staring and following this young women with his eyes, as his wife shopped unaware. I stood there just watching him with his eyes undressing this girl. I got so infuriated with him that I could have just smacked the bologna out of him. Well, to make a long story short, I just could not let it go, because it was so wrong for him to be married and undressing this girl with such lust in his eyes, so when I saw him in another isle, I went up to him and said, ” You know sir, the bible says’ that if you even look at another women with lust in your heart you have committed adultry already! Of course he scowled at me, and his wife turned to ask him what I had said, as I walked away. I am sure he had a tough time trying to explain that one to his wife…….
I know I probably didn’t handle that well. But I was moved by an emotional experience. I had once been in the spot of the wife, and I felt like he needed to know. I didn’t feel like loving him at that point I just wanted to smack him silly. If anything, maybe my words made him think about it. If not, well, he’s probably not married today. Hopefully, I won’t be judged to harshly for feeling so strongly about that matter, but I am being honest.
Love
Lavenia