Darren LeBlanc

I have a little request for the community. We are shooting a pretty cool series of short videos for an Anthem of Hope web campaign. I need trained professional actors for the shoot. We have been planning on tapping an agency and doing a casting call, but I figured I’d put a note up here first. The idea is that someone who has followed Misty’s story may be “closer” to the heart of this endeavor and may just work better. If you or someone you know has worked professionally in film, tv or commercials and has a heart for the purpose of AoH, drop me an email at darren@leblanclife.com. We need a handful of people from mid 30s to mid 60s.

I got a gift today. It was a little reminder about the purpose of our benevolence; a refresher in why we serve people.

I was driving to Phoenix to catch my flight when I pulled off to grab a coffee. There was a guy on the exit ramp that had a sign with something about him having lupus and needing food. I of course ignored him as most Americans do and went to get my delicious Starbucks coffee that I paid $4 for. Something got to me though and I decided to stop in the place next door to get a gift card for food. I put $50 on a card and decided to drive back and give it to him. So I make this illegal move on the road to get over to where this guy is standing and I confidently get out of the car. My eyes meeting his, we both walk toward each other. I, full of my own self virtue, hand him this card and explain what it is while in my mind, I’m patting myself on the back.

His response took me. He barely said thank you and turned and walked back to his position. Wait, aren’t I this great person for doing this nice thing? Shouldn’t he be so appreciative? Well, his response was exactly what I needed. It didn’t in any way shape or form make me feel good. I had no big thank you…not even an indication that this guy was going to use this. I was taken aback, but only for a moment. As I got into my car I realized what a gift this awkward man had given me. I had somehow slipped into thinking I was great for doing exactly what I ought to do. I had begun drinking my own bathwater…like I was something special.  Now, there are times that I do really give just for giving sake. Times that I want nothing more than to make someone happy…for their sake, not mine. But today, it felt like I may have missed the mark with my intention.

The Bible says that I should serve this guy as if I’m doing it to Jesus himself. That is what I’m supposed to do. This is not something above and beyondthat deserves a pat on the back. I’m not at all suggesting that everywhere you go you are supposed to give a gift card to every needy person you see. I really can’t say what we are individually supposed to do…only that we need to be sensitive to what our individual role is in the big picture. So, if we can serve in our towns soup kitchen this season, we should do it. If we can make a turkey for the family next door, we should do it. If we can shovel the elderly couple’s driveway, we should do it. We should do it because we should do it, not because it feels good.

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PS…thanks SOOO much to Richie and Chris for letting me stay at their place one night last week. I needed a break and it was perfect. Click the picture below to visit the gallery. I put captions on many of the images as well. It was a terribly overcast day, so I didnt get any shots that really captured the beauty of the landscapes. I guess I’ll just have to go back :)

And sorry for so few posts this week. Work was rough and I didn’t have much left at 12am when I’d get back from dinner!

When I was a kid I went to “Camp Lebanon” each summer with my best friend Scott Parker. It was a summer camp up in north NJ. Courtney Girdwood was actually there with us as well. Anyway, I’m not sure why we thought it was cool, but we used to do this camp song called “Going on a Bear Hunt”.  Well, I was in a book store out here in Sierra Vista, AZ and I found my beloved corny camp song as a childrens book. This of course will go into Olivia’s growing book collection.

Olivia,
Here is your VIDEO for today. Love you.

I decided when I came back to work that I wasn’t going to be a workaholic to “ease the pain” of losing my wife. So I force myself to have alone time to think, pray, grieve, muse…and even just linger on the images, feelings, touches, laughs and dreams that I remember.

Tonight is perfect.

I am sitting in a friends house in Sedona, AZ. No one is here and they let me stop in for the night for a break from my 2 weeks of 16-20hr days in the desert. I’m sitting in front of the fireplace and I can’t sleep. So I decide to check out the “observation deck”. I walk out the master bedroom and up a spiral staircase to the roof.

Wow… I’m standing there in my socks, not even caring that its quite a bit colder than comfortable. My breath is taken away. The sky is so rich; I can see Orion, Ursa Major, Pleiades, Sirius, and a billion constellations and stars that I couldn’t dream of knowing. But, one group stands out from the crowd. One whose significance is even brighter than is brilliant appearance: Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia was a queen in Greek Mythology, who is noted to have unrivaled beauty. And the northern sky boasts the mark of this queen. It is unmistakeable as it consists of 5 bright stars forming the letter “M”.

 When I was 16, I was backpacking with my brother and my dad. I spent a few hours out under the stars and couldn’t keep from noticing this formation. I had fallen in love with a girl named Misty and this large “M” in the sky became the subject of my poetry for her. In later years, I’d always point out her constellation as we walked hand in hand on the beach or sat outside under the stars at night. And tonight, once again, Cassiopeia becomes the subject of my writings. Today though, its significance is for me, and even you…not for her. The symbol of Cassiopeia is a heavenly mark of my beautiful Misty; an emblem of the beauty, grace and brilliance of my lady; my lady whose life shined as bright as those stars.

Tonight, under the gorgeous Sedona sky, I saw Cassiopeia for the first time since well before Misty died…and instantly it took on a new meaning. It reminded me of the myriad lives that were made a little brighter because of my shining star. I’m so proud…and so sad. Yet, entirely content for tonight.

Dear Olivia,

I had to go up in a tiny little plane today for work. I have a little video for you HERE.

Love you,
Daddy

This is the second day in a row I’ve worked more than 20 hours in the day. I’m exhausted. Nothing today except a video for my girl:

Video

Olivia,
I made you a video today. HERE it is. I hope your day was great. I love you.

Daddy

Wow..some good comments. I must respond. 

Lucy – I’m so sorry. I cannot even imagine what it is like to lose a son…especially so young. I am praying tonight for them (as are many who are reading this right now I’m sure).

Connie – Thanks for pointing out such a common problem. We dad’s often do a poor job with communication/emotion/affection. So I must give myself and all of us a reminder: Dad’s, talk to you family. Even when you don’t have something to say, just listen (with the TV off).  Be open with your emotions…your kids will be able to approach you with their problems if you are real about your own. And please show affection to your kids and to your wife in front of your kids. My dad was a hero in this regard – I was a high school kid and he still kissed my cheek when I left the house. I know its not always comfortable for we men, but suck it up. Hug your kids today and tell them they are loved/beautiful/talented/valued/courageous/smart/etc.

Emma – Undoubtedly, your post is one of the bravest and most meaningful posts I have ever gotten on here.  Your transparency is staggering – I wish we all were so open with our lives. I have one major thing I’d like to say: DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. You have done nothing wrong. My previous post mentioned that it is the responsibility of those of us who have been GIVEN hope, to GIVE it away. I’m sorry the church has failed you lately…we are all too good at that. And there is no way I will delete you post (as you suggest). In fact, I will print it and hang it on my wall – you are my inspiration. I only hope that my life and Anthem of Hope can be some support to you in these coming years.  Please email me so we can talk further. (my email is listed in the contact link above)

 Lastly, I wanted to mention that there is a play going on for those of you fellow central New Jersey folks. My brother and some friends are in it. Here is the info (it’s tonight and tomorrow!!)

Lighthouse Productions & Unfailing Love Ministries present an original musical for the Christmas season:

“It’s His Birthday, Mr. Scrooge”
(loosely based on Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”)

December 3rd & 4th, 2008
7:30 pm
@ The Paramount Theatre (Convention Hall)
Asbury Park, NJ

LIVE MUSIC!
FREE ADMISSION!

Starring:

Narrator- Rachel Ryan
Ebenezer Scrooge- Russ Scalzo
Bob Cratchitt- Nick Masi
Mrs. Cratchitt- Gail Scalzo
Martha Cratchitt- Tarra Emery
Tiny Tim- Chris Dean
Quartet- Kelsey Easy, Melody Easy, Maryann Smith, Elaine Buckley
Townspeople- Val Johnson, Fred Esposito, Alice Esposito
Jacob Marley- Justin LeBlanc
Angel of Christmas Past- Lindsay Guzman
Young Scrooge- Kevin O’Leary
Belle- McKenzie Deerin
Orphanage Director- Darlene Walker
Angel of Christmas Present- Stephanie Scalzo
Angel of Christmas Future- Leah Scalzo

***If you are able, please bring a new, unwrapped toy to be distributed at the Christmas Give Away on December 20th in Asbury Park!***
For more information: www.unfailingloveministries.com

NOTE: if you haven’t been around this week, skip to these posts:
– falling in love again 
– I’m thankful for cancer

For the rest of you…I’ll continue:

I’m in an Outback in Sierra Vista. It’s weird, I actually just had to lay in my car for like an hour because my head hurts so much. It was killing for a couple hours while I was driving here from phoenix. Feeling a little better now though. I don’t think I got enough sleep last night :)

Anyway, I just saw a comment on my post from this morning and I really wanted to adress it:

“How are you going to reach the people who don’t have hope? Or..are you already doing that? I feel like from what I read…the people you reach on here, have alot of hope.”

Great comment! Anthem of Hope is ALL about the people that don’t have hope. This website (leblanclife.com) is simply a collection of my musings from day to day with some aspects of community with the wonderful comments and discussions we get sometimes. But many of the comments we get here are from people that have similar faith to what I talk about. Those comments only represent a small handful of the readers. We get only a few comments on each days post, but there are thousands of unique readers each day. And on occaision we get comments from people that have different beliefs (i.e. they are not christians) or perhaps people that might be wondering what to believe at all or may be doubting what they have always believed. To be honest, those are the comments I cherish most.

Anyway, regardless of what you see here on leblanclife.com, Anthem of Hope is a different animal. We are very strategically targeting people who don’t have hope. There are some ways we will be doing that, but one of the biggest ways we can do that is through you! You and I may be at a place where we have already learned some hard lessons from God; we may have been given hope for one reason or another. It’s our job to reach out to the people who do not have hope.

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
–2 Corinthians 1:3, 4

There was a time in my own life, not too long ago, where I was a person without much hope. I can attest to the fact that I could have used some help. So Anthem of Hope, will bring a line of resources to help you and me in our efforts to comfort and bring hope to those who need it. Specifically, those losing hope and dealing with sickness. Stay tuned as we are expecting a pre-release of our first product this spring. You will be able to use that right away! Then eventually, the flagship piece of the Anthem of Hope line will be a 4 disc CD/DVD set that you can buy and give to your friend who may be losing hope.  It’s also a major goal to have most of the products for free as downloads. That way you can help even if you don’t have money to buy something.

Olivia has a long standing tradition of saying Amen (really loudly) after anyone else says it. So in church, she usually jumps in on that. It is pretty cute. Often though, she will provide some low level chatter that, if the church is quiet enough, can be disruptive – so I have to take her out.

Yesterday, she was so good in church. She sat through the whole service and only said 4 things:

• “Hi daddy” (in a whisper, as she climbed on my lap)
• “Amen” (much less of a whisper, but hardly disruptive)
• “Look at my finger” (she still has bumps from that virus she had, I can excuse this one)

and my favorite for the day…or perhaps year:

• “Birthing Hope!”

The pastor read Romans 15:4 -  “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” And he went on to talk about “birthing hope”. My girl, picks up on the most theologically rich phrase of the whole day. She is getting ready to be a spokeswoman for Anthem of Hope!

Seriously though, what a good verse. It implies that a reason the Bible was written was to give us hope. Hope is the expectation of something good. This suggests that wherever we are at in life, the Bible can be a source of encouragement and hope. This is what Anthem of Hope is all about and what my life has been a painful yet rewarding example of in recent years.

Oh – I gotta get on the plane (to phoenix)…they are calling my section right now…