the problem with preachers and artists
Liv and I had a visit tonight from my old friends Kristi and James. They came in from PA for dinner. It was really nice.
Anyway, James is a fellow musician and is working on writing songs for a new record with his group Wakeup Sleeper (Kristi, by the way, is a top shelf marketing mind), so we ended up talking about songwriting and inspiration and the such. SO it got me thinking. Toward the end of Misty’s life I was reading a ton. I was listening to audio books and reading the Bible everyday. At any time during that period, I could have preached a sermon on no notice and probably convinced anyone that it took a month to prepare. I was growing so much myself and learning so much, that the impartation of that knowledge was almost inevitable. Now, I’m too busy again for personal growth…and it probably shows but the frequency of really significant posts you all read on here. It reminds me of when I was a youth pastor. I had many things going for me – I truly loved the students for one and that let me earn the right to be heard (which with teenagers is 90% of the battle), but I look back and I know that I wasn’t really as strong of a teacher as I should have been. There were times, it would take me till the very last minute possible to finish writing a sermon. The problem was that I was working full time for the dept of defense, and then on top of that I was working 45 hours a week for the church. In the middle I tried to be a good husband, have a web design business and play in a touring worship band. So yes, I didn’t do a great job of personal development – and it probably showed in my teaching.
In talking with James, the conversation was more focused on art rather than teaching. We realized that we each could reach back in our lives to the times when we were growing most – those were the times when we created the best art. The times when we learned the biggest lessons in life, yielded fruit in our art. We often focus on the skills needed rather than the self needed. We put emphasis on learning how to preach, or how to paint, or how to write songs – but we neglect learning about who we are. We neglect studying ourselves; our passions, our ideas, our strengths and especially our weaknesses. In growing as a person, we will inevitably be better suited to tackle any area of life.
My goal is to listen to one audio book a week. For me right now, it’s going to be a theological piece, but at other times it has been a leadership development book or any other thing like that. I think next on my list is The Confessions of St Augustine.
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There is so much in this post that I can relate to. It is so true that during the hard times is when we grow the most. Right there seems to be one of the reasons that God allows those kinds of times to be part of our life. The whole point is to draw us closer to Him.
And if only, when we were working with youth, had spent MORE time in the Word. Oh I wish that we could have been a stronger influence. We were walking daily with Christ at that time, but we (Chuck and I) have grown so much since then.
All this to say, even though 2008 was a hard year, I am grateful for the opportunity to walk so closely with God while going through the valleys.
Cris,
Not to start gushing but you and Chuck were a great influence on me and many others in our early years. Thanks for that!! Really, you guys were great examples of how to live and love. Your influence is probably much farther reaching than you know.
I think the moral is that even in our weakness, God uses our effort and our hearts. I know he used me and misty in our youth group when we had no idea what we were doing :)
Darren, you’ve helped me to understand so much already – Thank you! Please keep it coming :) I have a long way to go.
I would like to wish you and Miss Olivia a very Blessed New Year!!
i too can relate to this post…i frequently reflect on moments in my life when i did not allow myself to be consumed in the busyness of our culture or the expectations of even the church and demands of ministry but when knowing Christ was enough, those times were the most full, where the natural overflow of my heart and life was ministry to others and i didn’t have to strive to work up a teaching or prepare a message or even choose a song list for worship- but those things came naturally.
i think about this last season of my life and how difficult it has been to some how “find” God. the wilderness season being one that carried with it suffering and disappointments and even the absence of God’s “manifest” presence, but I am reminded of the 84th Psalm:
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you. [c]
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools. [d]
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, God of Jacob.
9 Look on our shield, [e] O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 LORD Almighty,
blessed are those who trust in you.
in verses 5-7 it speaks of the blessing to those who set their hearts on pigrimage- Our life is a journey with God and each season, if we allow it, will bring us closer to His heart and greater knowledge of who He is. walking with God and truly surrendering our lives to Him WILL mean we walk through seasons that aren’t always comfortable or even those that fit into our theology. Instead He calls us to the Valley of Baka interpreted the valley of suffering and in this place, if we trust in God, it will create a strength in our lives that can only come through suffering and trust in God even in the unknown.
I believe God is looking for a generation whose hearts are fully committed to His heart and are willing to lay down their own comforts, desires, pride, recognition, emotions, etc., to set their hearts in pursuit of KNOWING HIM.
Darren, your honesty once again brings conviction to my own life- i too want to re-prioritize and discipline myself to study out and know Christ…
I have the same problem as a youth pastor. I spend so much time creating media and planning things, that I often find myself drained and lacking in my own spiritual walk. Good post.
Good stuff here. I appreciate your wisdom. I’ve never listened to an audio book, but I think I need to see if my library has anything worthwhile.
May God deeply bless you and Olivia in the new year.
Darren,
Thanks for this post and for being transparent – even if you didn’t mean it on the level that I got it – it sure did hit home with me. I can’t even think straight right now – I’m emotionally and physically exhausted – haven’t been pressed in and spending enough time in the Word or worship lately – and it shows. When I was actively standing for Brenton’s healing, I was right where I need to be ALL of the time! The Holy Spirit had free reign in my life and He was so inspiring.
Lately though, life has been quite an overwhelming mess. My personal growth has taken a hit and my posts lack in inspiration since I’ve gotten busy with life again.
My New Year’s Resolution is to have a single-minded devotion to Jesus Christ – and I know that with God in the center – all will work together – and His beauty will flow through again!
Many blessings to you and Olivia in this new year.
Wow. That’s pretty cool. I never really related my level of creativity to my personal relationship and growth in God. It just didn’t seem to connect until I read your post today. Thank you for helping me see more clearly, even if you didn’t know it. I have been following your blog for a couple of weeks now and really appreciate all your insights and honesty. Your faith in God is especially touching. May God bless you and your beautiful little girl.