Darren LeBlanc

Today I will be tied up most of the day doing a video shoot for an Anthem of Hope web campaign. I’m looking forward to it…i’ll fill everyone in later on how it goes.

Olivia is a blast. Last night she was at Misty’s parents’ house and I showed up there at about 10:30 after my flight back from florida (spent 2 nights there for work). Well, olivia had seen my mother in law putting blankets on the couch (i wanted to sleep there so I was there when olivia woke up) and olivia asked who that was for. Upon hearing I was gonna be there, my little girl decided she was staying awake. So when I rolled in at 10:30, I poked my head in her room just to see her sleeping and she pops up and yells “Daddy”. It was a good 40 minutes and 29 hugs and kisses after that till she actually did go to sleep. I can’t say I minded too much.

Then tonight driving home, I looked back and she had rubbed her own spit all over her face.  After giving her a napkin, I told her not to do that. She gave me her standard Olivia response: “I HAVE to.” Oh, Olivia.

Other than time with her, this week hasn’t been all that great. I’m physically exhausted and there are things that are looming over my head causing stress. I know too many of you can relate. On top of that, the last couple days have been a touch less great on the emotional front. I am just missing my wife. I had to go away for a couple days for work…for some reason those are much worse than being in my own home…

I really have nothing to complain about…and if I did, I dont have the energy to do so. Good night.

If you aren’t a techy, ignore this post.

But if you are…help me out. I was trying to find a really streamlined utility that sends video from a phone (via MMS) directly to a blog. Any ideas? Basically want to take the video and hit send, and have it show up on a blog.

I love that we have “regulars” on here. It feels like a cute little coffee-shop that I now visit every couple days and inevitably run into some familiar faces. One of our regulars, Dania, asked to hear about our travels as we visit churches that prayed for Misty. That sounds like a great idea, Dania.

Last Sunday, we visited Crossroads A/G in Englishtown, NJ. I wanted to mention this church because I have been to few places with love like they have. Pastor Frank Jacobs is an incredibly warm man, and I think we can all learn from him. Months ago, when Misty was still with us, I often got notes from him. Here is one:

Dear Darren,
I pray for you every day.  Everyone in Crossroads Assembly of God in Englishtown knows Misty’s name.  She is on every prayer list and mentioned in every service.

In Christ’s Love,
Frank

Some were longer, but basically, that is the kind of note that I think we all need to write to people who are hurting. It says, “I care about you so much, I pray EVERY DAY, and I’m making sure the people close to me do as well”. There is no Bible verse telling me “just trust God”; no personal story about how his sister’s, cousin’s, brother’s, dog-sitter’s, best friend battled cancer once; no catchy cliché about God’s grace being sufficient; no big barely understandable words like sanctification…no, just love.

Anyway, I visited his church and was so lovingly accepted by everyone there. I’m proud they bare the same name I do; Christian. So how about if we skip the clichés this week and just tell someone we love them….or we are praying for them (if we really are). Or we just give them an Anthem of Hope gift….oh wait, that’s not out yet. Coming soon :)

 I just recently got the award in the mail from the Love this site! awards that many of you voted for us for. Well, way to go, cause we won the “relationships” category for 2008!!

In other news, my daughter has apparently jumped from 2 to her teens in couple days. Today she was writing on the white board (this is a normal daily thing) and after spelling her name (she gets the first three letters out then just starts banging the marker aimlessly) she started yelling the funniest thing I have heard in a while: “I’m reppin LB” – which apparently means “I’m representing Long Branch (where we live)”. Someone taught her this like 2 months ago…and she completely just started saying today. She does it cause we all laugh. Anyway, I caught her on video saying it later in the car. Also, I caught a clip of her writing in the “sation” on the windows. This is a new favorite thing.

I got a call a few weeks back from a good friend who had listened to “Family Radio” on some station out of Camden, NJ. The teacher, Harold Camping, said a few things that made this young lady a bit worried.

I didn’t want to write this beacuse I really don’t want to give the guy any more publicity, but I’m worried that some of you have come across his teachings and perhaps not noticed. You can easily recognize his voice because he sounds very old and almost sounds like he has some speech problems going on. I’m not in anyway making fun of him, just trying to help you recognize his voice if you hear it (its certainly not a usual “broadcast” voice).

Anyway, this guy is a quack. Completely off the wall. Honestly, unless you are a Bible student and want to spend some time researching how stupid his ideas are, I wouldn’t even listen. He predicted the world would end in 1994, and now he is preaching its 2011. Apparently, the church is run by satan and everyone should flee from it.

Ok, enough of that. I just wanted to encourage you to change the channel if you hear a really old man with a funny voice talking about the Bible on “Family Radio”.

By the way, I picked up the video from Misty’s service tonight. I’ll have it available soon. It came out great. That will get its own post away from Mr. Camping…but not tonight. (I’m tired – its kinda late)

Olivia and I were chatting about mommy today. She likes to remind me that “mommy cute” when she see’s the picture of her on the wall. Then, as I’ve mentioned before, she blows kisses to the sky.  I ran across these the other day and I smiled:

3 images

1 – thinking “darren what you are saying is dumb”

2 – making the sarcastic remark

3 – laughing at herself

Yes, Olivia was right. “mommy cute”.

By the way….we are only days from getting our hands on the final video from her memorial service, I know there were so many of you that wanted to get a copy. I will make them available for a donation to AoH (the way she’d want it) in the very near future. Thanks for being patient.

Oh..one more thing. I recently got the award in the mail from the Love this site! awards that many of you voted for us for. Well, way to go, cause we won the “relationships” category for 2008!!     WhooHoo

I miss my wife. Yes, I still call her my wife. I still wear my ring. I don’t know….in some ways, everything has changed, but in others…not much has. That could easily be a corny line in any stupid story, but really, it feels like that sometimes. I still miss her like I did the first day she was gone. In that way, nothing has changed over these 5 months. I don’t have any desire to be with anyone, nor do I suspect that will change in the very near future.

I often get asked about dating, so I decided to just come out and talk about it. When Misty died, I knew that someday there might be a chance that I would marry again. I thought however, that it was wise for me to set some boundaries so that no matter what emotional state I may be in, I don’t make poor choices in trying to fill the hole from Misty, with someone else. I decided early on that I would wait at least a year before even considering if I would date again. I think too often we let bad emotional times in our life dictate our relationships. This is so destructive.

PS. this all came from a discussion I had tonight. A friend that I respect very much exhorted me that sometimes my friendliness is perceived as flirting. I appreciate good friends to keep me in check! And at his request, I’m letting you know that if I give you a hug and compliment your hair, I’m just being friendly :)

Tonight was supposed to be a good blog night…I have about 3 or 4 ideas that need to be said soon. But…I fell asleep next to olivia’s bed and am just waking up now (3am)…haha. Oh well, I’ll write tomorrow. In the mean time, here are some pictures that Vanessa Joy just posted to my smugmug. This was the same shoot that we took the image up top on the banner for this page. Click the picture for the gallery.

PS…I’m so proud of my girl. Tonight, while doing our usual colorfest on my whiteboard, I told her to write her name. She said and wrote “O” then next to it, “l”, then we went back to “0″ followed by a series of dots that represented “v” “a” “v” “a” (or so so she said). Of course this was concluded with “I fell my name!! I fell my name daddy!”

PSS…things didn’t work out with the 3rd voice that we were looking for for the Anthem of Hope Encouragement Disc – so I posted a job for the voice talent community. We got some GREAT auditions. I think you all will be very happy with this first disc when its released.  (hopefully in april…the music takes some time).

PSSS…yes, valentines day was ok. I miss Misty, but holidays aren’t really any harder than any other day. Liv and I are doing ok. She still blows kisses to mommy most nights…

I took my date out to the mall tonight. She had a great time. The escalators are just about her favorite thing in the world. And when we are up on the second level she loves to look through the glass down at the people and wave. Occasionally she will catch someone’s eye and get a wave-back. This of course thrills her. Also occasionally, she will put her face on the glass and force me to speak strongly about germs and such. We walked through the whole mall just observing people riding the escalators. Letting her walk by herself next me makes her feel so grown up, like she is among all the big people…and just one of the crowd.

Tonight though, I was taken aback with my own Pharisaical tendencies. I passed a man who was speaking to his son in a way that I didn’t totally approve of. Immediately, I was filled with this sense of how much better I am than him. A few seconds later I came to my senses and nearly slapped myself. Please don’t get caught up on the fact that the manner in which this man was speaking was in fact wrong…that doesn’t matter. I want to ignore his ignorance for a moment and talk about my arrogance.

This is something that creeps up often and I hate myself for it. For instance, if I am in a group, I often have this instinctive compulsion to play “can you top this” during group interchanges. A few weeks back, I went to a photography expo with a few friends and 3 or 4 times during the day I found myself literally biting on my tongue while doing some serious coercing of my inner attention hungry demon.

Even in little things I find myself struggling with pride. My aunt Valerie told me that she has seen such a change in me over the past year. I immediately felt the need to explain why I may just have been a little more mature than she thought a year ago. Give me a break. And when I took those pictures of Acadia National Park a few months back, I don’t think I ever gave full credit to Artie Hughes who taught me a few things before I went. It was like “oh no, people can’t know that I’m only now learning how to use a circular polarizer” – yes, I struggle with pride.

Some recent research by the Barna Group (an authority in church-related statistics) indicates that for 16-29 year olds who are not Christians, the #1 reason for hostile feelings towards Christianity is the perception of a certain swagger or arrogance that we Christians carry around. That makes me sad and I’m going to do my best to not support that statistic.

In his musings on Christianity (and the disparate lives of its purported Christians) Leo Tolstoy writes:

Blame me — I do that myself — but blame me,
and not the path I tread and show to those who ask me where,
in my opinion, the road lies ! If I know the road home, and
go along it drunk, staggering from side to side — does that
make the road along which I go a wrong one ?

Anyway, I am not always an arrogant jerk…wait… Here I go again…caring too much about what you think of me :)

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 1 Corinthians 3:7