Remembering Mommy
I finally got around to posting some pictures from the last few weeks. I wanted to give you some images that I took on Sept 23rd as we remember the passing of Misty last year. In the midst of a very difficult day for many, we had what was truly a beautiful time that I think Olivia will appreciate forever.
She and I visited Mommy in the cemetery. Olivia picked out pink roses…pink is her favorite. Whenever we visit, she always leans over and touches the stone engraved image of Mommy’s face. This is usually where my eyes well up as she tells Misty how she misses her and that she loves her. This particular visit, I also found myself listening to a story of how she wants to go camping in the snow with Mommy.
We also spent some time on the beach with a few members of the family. We released butterflies as a memory of Misty. Olivia then chased the butterflies for 20 minutes from the edge of the waves up to the dunes. It was a rainy day, so we didn’t have much competition for the beach…which was nice.
Probably the best part of the day for my little lady was being able to write on a balloon and send it up to heaven. She knew this was coming and had been talking about it for days. Olivia had some nice things to say, which I helped her write, then she let the helium filled message carrier fly out over the ocean and up to heaven. I was kinda amazed seeing a 2 year old standing there watching them fly away…in an almost somber respect.
She doesn’t grieve the same way that you or I do, but she gets it. And the simple fact that she does get it hasn’t always been easy for me. Shortly after Misty died, I found it difficult to accept the pain Olivia would walk through for the rest of her life…just wondering what her Mommy was like and wishing she could be with her. That still hurts me. The words on this computer screen are getting blurry as my eyes fill with tears for that. I can’t say it will ever be easy. But one thing that I do believe that God has spoken to me very clearly about is that just as I can sit here today and tell you I am a different person because of Misty, well…I believe Olivia will be able to say that as well. Just as you have been impacted by Misty’s faith, so will Olivia. And while it’s painful for her to walk through life with this, I have an unshakable confidence that she will be a stronger person than you or I can imagine. Suffering changes people. It’s generally up to us whether or not it will be for the better or for the worse. For me, I am better. For Olivia…it will be the same.
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The words on the screen were blurry for me too. What an inspiration your wife and daughter are to me. Never stop living her legacy. Blessings over you and your family…
Beautiful post, Darren.
Even if you had to stay up late on a work night to finish it, I appreciate what you wrote.
What wonderful ways to help Olivia remember her Mommy, and for you to remember your loving wife.
Ok, page is blurry for me too, now.
thank you Darren- I have missed you! a very very beautiful post!
Darren,
I think it is so great that you let Olivia express herself even though it hurts you to see it sometimes. Her just knowing it is okay to miss her mommy is so selfless on your part.
As I read your post I was thankful for your little girl who at such a young age is very knowledgeable, and mature. I read your posts thinking of the two of you being an encouragement for the other and not a father going through loss alone.
My words don’t fully express my sadness for your loss and yet joy for who Olivia is and will become. I will continue to pray for you and your little angel.
pink flowers, butterflies and balloons. i think that’s so cool.
oh gosh, the words went blurry for me too. everytime i read your story, it brings tears to my eyes. but i marvel at your faith and that of Misty’s and i thank you again for sharing. you and your family are such an encouragement to so many, even ones you may never meet like me.
Yep, this post is my favorite.
Yes, it DOES. Suffering does change us in a way we could never imagine! But there is something we can never lose…our faith in God! Not even in the worst of our sufferings does He fail.
Hi Darren and Olivia,
I have been thinking about both of you and, of course, Misty. I don’t really have a lot to add. Not sure that I need to. Just wanted to say hi.
You know, I’ve missed reading your thoughts. I still check in – just to see… This was a beautiful post. I admire you for your faith – the faith you stood in with Misty – the faith you walk in now – and the faith for a beautiful future for your daughter. Suffering does make it’s mark on all of us – and so does blessing. You and Olivia are living examples of blessings in the midst of suffering. Thank you for sharing your heart and showing us how to live and walk in faith – and victory.
I went through something similar when my daughter was first born. I did not have much faith at that time and through that struggle, my faith as grown leaps and bounds. I know that every day is a gift.
Youre wife’s words and life story are a reminder to me why God is so important.
Yes–how true it is that God has made a person of great faith thru your suffering. I am still a work in process with all of the trials in this life and especially now, I know that He is definatly wanting to continue to change me as with all of us. The trouble is that I usually have a very hard time–to just let Him have all the control. Darren I wish I had half of the spiritual growth that you have, but we are all different and always a work in progress.
Just am SO grateful that is Love is always there, no matter what.
She looks so pretty in her little dress! How do you ever put that child down? She is too cute! You’re a wonderful Daddy Darren. :)
Nothing to add , but that I love you and I love Olivia. You both are always on my mind and in my prayers.
I am catching up on your blogs Darren and I must say that the words on the screen are very blurry for me…that was a beautiful post!! I keep Misty’s picture right on my dresser mirror so I can see her BEAUTIFUL smile everyday. I truly admire you…and you really are such an amazing father to your little lady!!
xoxo,
Tracey